When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
