So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize