Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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