i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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