its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
