ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
