she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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