i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You ruined the universe
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
