my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The beer is more important than you right now.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
