Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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