Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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