Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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