I think my vagina is haunted
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
