Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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