if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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