No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
