it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
