We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
