Pants 0. Shit 1.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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