with your own penis?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize