i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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