Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
