Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
