a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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