In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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