I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
