You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You can't special order awesome
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
