oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
