The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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