jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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