I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
