i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
