You really coming over, don't trick.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
