He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
