Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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