i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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