kristin has been a bad kristin
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
