I'd wear matching sweaters with you
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize