I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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