she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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