he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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