just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
sex in a hospital.. check
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
