week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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