Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
