Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Terrible idea I love it
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize