Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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