Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
