I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
A bitchslap is in order.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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