never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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