Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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