I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There r osticjed everywhere
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
its liver damage thursday
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
