Little spoons don't ask big questions
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
