At least make sure they are 18
Why
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
