Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
