I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
