Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i already hear my dad disowning me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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