This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
