The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
