my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
