so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Randomize
