How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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