Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
