Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
