Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize