Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
