do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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