cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
