I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
